“VPL so scandalous”

“VPL so scandalous”

Sisqo may have promoted the need to eliminate visible panty-lines and curate discreet rumpage dressing in ‘The Thong Song’; and those ladies that fall into the thong-camp know that these flimsy pieces of underwear are GREAT for avoiding the dreaded visible panty-line, or VPL, when sashaying along the high street or shaking one’s posterior on the dance-floor at the local hot-spot. But, for horse riders, we know that little, inflexible flimsy thongs are usually not de rigour. Must we really endure them in our quest to eliminate the under-breeches-VLP?

NO!

Instead, one could consider the ‘Derriere G’, a modern take on the thong - a G-string for those who love Gee-Gees! Or, a more enveloping brief, such as the Derriere Performance Panty - it’s successfully eradicated seam-lines visible through underwear, often experienced with high-street undies.

VPL - a fashion misdemeanour

The rather charming ‘Urban Dictionary’ says VPL is a ‘definite fashion misdemeanour.’ “VPL damages the aesthetic beauty of a fine rump,” the online resource reports. Well, this may be true, however we wouldn’t be so crude!

The website also reports a helpful example of when to use ‘VPL’ in your everyday vocabulary:

"Damn! Check dat booty!"

"Nah, man. Can't see it for all that VPL."

For the more salubrious and respectful among us, there’s no need to disrespect someone’s booty. Simply direct them towards Derriere Equestrian’s splendid range of riding underwear!

The ‘Derriere G’ is made from Polyamide and Elasthanne, with a generous fit that moves with you as you ride - you will forget you’re wearing it. If the ‘G’ isn’t your style, then we can assure you that Bridget Jones would have been proud to wear our fabulous Derriere Performance Panty - no seamlines, ultimate comfort, and of course, beautiful designer undies that would surely have impressed Daniel Cleaver.

So, if VLPs are a worry for you under your light-coloured breeches, and your VPLs are so scandalous, visit your local Derriere Equestrian retailer; you will never need to ride in an uncomfy thong thong thong thong thong again.

Here we present our own version of the Sisco classicJ

Ooh, dat VPL, so scandalous.

And ya know another judge couldn't handle it.

See ya shakin that thang on the saddle I wish,

You had Derrieres, not so devilish.

Ya like to jump at all the hip, hop spots,

And ya cruise the fences with ya lovely rump,

But your undies girl, you like the pop,

Cuz you ridin’ la vida loca.

You may have dumps like a truck, truck truck.

Great thighs like, what, what.

VPL on your butt, butt butt.

Uh, I will sing it again.

It’s those VPLs, yuck, yuck.

Thighs so hot, what what.

All night long.

No thong thong thong thong thong!

www.derriereequestrian.com